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When I found out I was pregnant, I was estatic! I went out and bought every book I could find
and was on the Internet researching constantly. I wanted to be the best Mom I could be.
After our baby girl was born, it was a different story. I found the books helpful in some ways
but in other ways, I found they were hindering my way of being a Mother. Here are a couple of
examples of what I mean...
- Baby’s ‘Milestones’: Every week I would read about the changes I could expect and the
new things my daughter should be able to do. At the beginning this was great since she
was so tiny and many of the changes listed were things like how good her eyesight was
getting and when I could expect a real smile. However, as she grew and these books
started telling me the major developmental milestones she should be making, I had a
different outlook. I found myself worrying about why she wasn’t crawling by 6 months,
why she hadn’t said her first word early enough, etc. Our daughter was born 4 weeks early
so even though I should have charted her development a month behind, I found myself
starting to worry about why she was ‘behind’ in some things. As she continues to grow I
realized that she will do things when she is ready! Each baby is an individual and they'll do
things in their own time. In fact, I was so caught up in the things she wasn’t doing yet
that I wasn’t paying attention to the things she was doing - things she was "early" at. She
is a happy baby who is healthy and active. I just have to be patient and let her grow at a
pace she is ready to. It’s every parent’s right to worry about their child. But there are
enough things to keep your mind occupied without adding this unnecessary stress to an
already demanding life as a Mom.
- Books Can Sway Your Judgement: When reading about something like sleep, I would
read about how you need to let your baby cry it out if you’re having trouble getting her to
sleep other wise you’ll "spoil" her. So, we tried it one night. We let her scream for 5
minutes until I couldn’t take it anymore and I ran into her room to comfort her. I’ll never
forget how she clung to me like ‘Mama where were you.’ I had to hold back the tears. My
husband and I felt horrible and we decided right then and there that we would NEVER do
that again. And we didn't...until a couple of months later. As she got a little older we
started to realize that her cries were more of a whine than a cry - there weren't even any
real tears - so we would let her cry again. But she soon started to cry for longer periods of
time and we realized we still needed a little bit of help. I started to look for information that
was in line with our way of thinking. That's when I came across a book called ‘The Baby
Sleep Book’ by Dr. Sears. In this book we found some great advice that fit our parenting
styles and created our own method of getting her to sleep. Now she goes down to sleep
without a problem! The 'Cry it Out' method wasn't our style but Dr. Sears' methods were.
Staying asleep is a whole other issue...but we're working on it together in a way we feel is
right.
What I'm trying to say is to trust your own instincts! Use the books as a guideline and then
create a method that works for you and parent in a way that you feel good about. If you’re
doing something you don’t feel comfortable with, don’t do it! There is lots of advice out there
but only you know your baby best so do what you feel is right.
Please Note: The information found in this section is strictly our thoughts and the thoughts of our viewers on topics we've learned as a new Mom. We're not claiming to be a professional who is trained or certified in these areas in any way, it's simply knowledge gained from our experiences and researching.
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